What's on YOUR Nightstand?

Years ago I remember reading a House Beautiful article that featured the bedside tables of some pretty well known of interior decorators. They were very glamorous, and obviously very staged full of fresh flowers and sterling silver picture frames. Each tableau supposedly represented the styles and personalities of each decorator. House Beautiful even published an online video tour of decorator, Bunny William's bedside table. Click here if you care to see it. 

Since then I have come across a surprising amount of articles written on the subject and I soon realized this was not a unique curiosity of mine. The long list of articles trying to prove there is some  deep psychological connection between what you throw on your nightstand each night and your subconscious is almost humorous. Here are just a few:

• The Huffington Post "What Your Bedside Table Says About You"
• Apartment Therapy "Bedside Manner: What Does Your Nightstand Say About You?"
• houzz.com "What Your Bedside Table Says About Your Style

Even still, it intrigued me to see how these small table tops said so much about the people snoozing next to them. Tissues from colds, books read to our kiddos, water, lotions & chapsticks for some self-healing, remotes for late night entertainment, were a few of the common items. It was fun to take a peek at yours and see what they said about you and your life at the moment. Thanks to all of your contributions, forgive me if I didn't use yours, I needed to cut some down for space issues. Here's what you sent:

Here is mine on the left and Josh's on the right:

Bleached T's

I can't even take credit for this cool summer craft. Josh actually came home the other day with T-shirts he bought for the kids. He said he found project on Pinterest he wanted to try with the kids. What?! I thought that was my job: scour Pinterest for hours, find amazing projects to do, go buy the supplies and never do them. But on a rainy Sunday early this summer, Josh pulled out the materials and got to work with the kids. 

Here are the materials needed:

• Cotton T-shirt (dark colors work best)
• Oak tag & double sided tape or adhesive stencil paper
• Scissors / X-Acto blade
• Spray bottle
• Bleach slightly diluted with water (3:1)
• Cardboard

1. We had the kids draw simple images on oak tag.. Not too many details. Petra drew her standard dog & Beck found the symbol of his favorite DJ, deadmau5, online. 

2. Next Josh & I cut out the image with X-Acto blades (a bit too sharp for the wee ones). 

3. We then set the oak tag stencil or in Petra's case, the negative of the stencil, down on the T-shirt & secured with a bit of double sided tape to ensure it would lay flat against fabric.

4. We placed a piece of cardboard between the front layer to the T-shirt & the back so it would not soak through. We filled a spray bottle with 3 parts bleach, one part water and began to gently spray layers of bleach over the design. We were careful to set the nozzle on mist and not to drench the design all at once.

5. Once we saw the bleach begin to work, we pulled off stencil & washed the T-shirt in cold water & then into dryer to 'set' the design. The kids love the way they turned out & we're definitely doing more! 

Share Your 'Summer Sanity' Ideas!

I forgot to ask you to share any ideas you had regarding your summer schedule. My last post featured some new guidelines I am trying to follow with my kids and I'd love to see what works for you. I'd love to post them right here! My sister, Michelle gave it a go and this is what she came up with:

I love how she displayed each boy's chore cards - it's visually appealing and simple for them to follow. Another thing I need to consider is an allowance as reward. Michelle is paying her boys $1. per chore ($5./ week). Totally worth it!

I was originally using the chores as a way for my kids to earn choice activities, but this can easily fail: if I want to be able to take away the choice activity as a consequence to negative behavior, then doing the chores go out the window and will not get done. Why bother? However if they are paid a small allowance for chores well done, then everyone wins and I get to keep the removal of choice time as leverage.

Another small tweak for me: I need to set an early time frame for chores to be completed. I am realizing my kids will wait all day to do them, and for some things, for example the dishwasher being unloaded, they need to be done early in the day. 

*Please send me your ideas and photos of any charts/schedules/bucket lists you have made to keep your summer sane.

Summer Sanity & Bucket List

So summer is off to a great start. It's only been 5 days, but really great so far. Really, I mean it. Last night I introduced my "Summer Schedule" which includes chores & rules. I had scoured the Internet for ideas of how to structure two months of free time with the two kiddos ages 10 & 6. My biggest fear was daily begging and fighting over screen time paired with a husband working from his home office within earshot of all chaos and screaming. 

posted on my fridge

I felt I needed some leverage over them to promote good behavior & ways in which they can earn "choice activities" (like screen time). Everything else on the lists is just fluff, really. I figured if I could squeeze 2 chores out of them each day, and have them doing a small amount of reading/math, this summer could actually be somewhat peaceful. Obviously there will be many days where this ideal is just impossible. Camps, traveling, and full days out at the pool, beach & neighbors for BBQs will be frequent exceptions. If you want a closer look at the charts I posted, or to edit & create your own, here they are:

Printable Summer Charts: Click Here

Another addition to this summer of love & peace in my home (insert chuckle) is the "Summer Bucket List". If God forbid my kids complain they are bored, they can chose to do additional chores for small pocket money...OR choose an activity from the 'Bucket List'. The idea is that we will have a filled bucket by end of summer. Since I just made this today, I have yet to see how it plays out. I'll keep you posted. 

Printable Bucket List: Click Here 

I found all Bucket List supplies at Home Depot.

I dyed clothes pins with food coloring for different occasions:

Blue for rainy days (came out green)

Black for night time

Yellow for sunny days

Cyber Stalking Leandra Medine

Thank God you can't see who's scanning the Internet for you, searching your name on Facebook, pinning photos of you walking down the street to get coffee and checking your Instagram 6 times a day, 'cause if you could, I'd be in jail. I am confessing to you now - and to the world - I cyber stalk Leandra Medine. 

"Who is Leandra Medine?" you may ask. Well, I had no idea who she was about 3 moths ago. One late night as I regularly scrolled though Pinterest before passing out around 11:15, I noticed the same girl kept popping up on my "Clothing Styles I love Board". Wondering why the hell she was coincidentally photographed so often on the streets of NYC, I poked around to find out who she was. Apparently, I've been living in the sad, fashion darkness of suburbia. 

Confessions of a cyber stalker: It started out  as a simple curiosity. I could't believe how she could put together thrift finds & high end designer items and make them look so cool and fabulous. I stayed up late each night and instead of scrolling through Facebook nonsense, I went straight to anything written by her or posted of her, stalking my way to sleep. Come to find out, her blog, The Man Repeller, was voted Time's "25 Best Blogs of 2012" and featured in Forbes "Top 30 Under 30" as one of 2012's most influential trendsetters as a fashion blogger. And to this day, she has thousands of Instagram and blog followers. 

Ok, so I am behind a few years on this news. But the most appealing thing to me is her confidence to wear whatever the hell she wants. That was her initial idea behind The Man Repeller blog. She explained the title of her blog to the Daily Mail: "Good fashion is about pleasing women, not men, so as it happens, the trends that we love, men hate. And that's fantastic". 

Cyber stalking Leandra Medine has  made me realize how little I dress for myself. Not that I have a huge fashion-passion. I am not a clothes horse by any stretch. My version of mixing high and low is   to pair Old Navy cargo pants with a J. Crew clearance-rack T-shirt, over a Danskin tank from Walmart. But I really need to liberate myself from putting on plain clothes that do not reflect my taste or personality in the least just to get me from work to home. She has inspired me in many ways to be more myself and I'm not ashamed to admit my stalking will continue. Thanks, L.M., I'll see you tonight on Instagram. 

BFFs: Long Distance Relationships

My 9 year old son and I have something in common: We don't have many friends. I never have. In high school and again in college, I maybe had a total of 3 close girlfriends. Total. It didn't mean I wasn't popular or well liked, I think I can only give my attention and efforts to a few good friends at a time. Beck is the same way. And, like me, he is having to once again say good-bye to one of his best friends this spring due to a long distance move.

I am struggling to find comforting words of advice as he prepares to say good-bye. I want to encourage him to make an effort to keep in touch and perhaps the friendship will endure. I know he is capable of this since he maintains long distance friendships right now that will hopefully last his lifetime. The are that kind of friends. You just know it. They are friends he mentions at bedtime, worries about and gets teary eyed wondering when he will see them again. 

I have those friends too. In fact my two best friends have moved quite far away. They are friends I made at a most vulnerable point in my life, when I had my first baby, and they had theirs. We bonded over exploding diapers at fancy lunches, breast feeding at the playground, tantrum stories and other stresses that come with being a new mom. I have told them deep secrets and I know quite a few of theirs. They are friendships I have had now for almost ten years. Being apart from them for several years now, I find ourselves trying to keep in touch in a variety of ways, but always wish it were more often. Working full time is a definite factor in my inability to keep in touch as often as I would like, but I am going to make a better effort to keep in touch. I am! I really think it sets a good example for Beck & Petra of how to maintain lifelong friendships. 

I want to explain to Beck that true friends understand when some time lapses between calls and emails. A true friend will always be happy to hear you voice and you pick up right where you left off. I found a sweet list of ways to stay in touch with long distance friends on www.huffingtonpost.com  written by Gabriela Kruschewsky. Here are a just a few ways I will share with Beck that I think are right-on:

1. Send random photo messages to each other regularly. I try to do this when I can. It's hard to remember, but super easy to do. I always love being on the receiving end of a fun photo to keep up with what the other person is up to. 

2. Start something personal & private you can both share together. I did this years ago with my sisters. We started a journal that we send through snail mail. We took turns adding whatever we wanted, a photo, a poem, a drawing. It was always so exciting to get it in the mail & see what was added. It could be as simple as an email chain!

3. Try to keep up in their daily life & what's going on with them. I should move this up to the #1 spot. I'll stress to Beck that when talking to his friends, to always ask detailed questions about what they are up to. (Don't just ramble on about yourself). Asking specific questions about what sport they are doing, a trip they just took, family they just visited, can really make your friend feel closer and remind them of how much you listen & care about their personal life. 

4. Remember their family is your family. Or at least, act as though they are. For my BFFs, I keep a list in my contacts of their extended family names. Brother-in-laws, step-fathers, cousins....for when I'm talking to them it's always nice to reference their family with a name. I love when they ask  me specifically about my family and actually remember my nephew's names, Aunt Helen, or that my Irish Gram, Mary, lived next door to me all my life. 

5. Take mini trips together, even if you meet half way. This is probably the most difficult one. As an adult, busy schedules and finances come into play, but it's always such a treat when you can make it happen. I remember we used to make an annual 'girl's weekend' and it made us all so much closer and we have many fun shared memories from these trips.

6. Write an actual physical letter to them once and a while. This takes so little time, but really shows you took a moment to make them feel special. Beck still has a few notes from his long distance friend on his bulletin board. (Along with the necklace his friend sent in the envelope). Very sweet & very easy.

7. Small talk is key. This is so easily done with texting, Facebook replies, Instagram pics, and other technology we already have in our hands all day long. It only takes a few moments to say hi or comment on someone's status or photo. Waiting days for someone to reply to a text is pretty crummy. I will remind Beck to stay diligent and reply quickly.

8. Accept their new friends. This one I saw on another post, but find it super important. You can't expect your friend to put blinders on and never make another close friend again. That would be pretty selfish. It is always a bit painful to know your friends are sharing things she used to share with you, but you must remember her happiness is yours. I'll remind Beck to accept their new friends and it can only make you closer. I myself have made a few new friends here in the burbs. It doesn't mean my long distance friendships are any less important or special.